


Maybe I Can Lie My Way to Freedom

by TheCreatorOfWhat



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Basically Tragic Backstory, Depression, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 17:38:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCreatorOfWhat/pseuds/TheCreatorOfWhat
Summary: Jai must lie in order to live. In order to not be hurt.





	Maybe I Can Lie My Way to Freedom

Fire cannot keep burning if there isn’t any oxygen. But if it’s right on the heel of your foot, you have to break down a wall or two in order to live.

If I say “no, I didn’t do my homework,” or “yes I broke that,” I’d be dead. My mother is strict. Overbearing. A helicopter parent. And because of this. I can’t do anything. If I want to go to a friends house, and I have a C in math, forget about it. If I want to go to the beach, hell no, I gave my mom an attitude last week.

The worst instance of this was in November of 2016. She took my phone away because I came out as gay and she thought my phone influenced me to be gay. 

Bitch.

I Tried to tell her that’s how I’ve always felt. And now she’s mad I had the guts to come out to her?

Some reason I still love her.

She has given me depression when I was 11 (She didn’t even notice I stopped talking for 2 weeks). Anxiety when I was 14, that’s only gotten worse, social anxiety (“Just talk to people. It’s no big deal,”), and depression last month. All because she constantly (unknowingly) belittles me and treats me like shit.

I always feel bad for feeling bad because I could have it worse. She could hit me. She doesn’t do that a lot. 

I always feel...unsafe. I feel her eyes on me every moment of the day. I feel as if, she is going to snatch my phone and check my browser history before I can delete it.

Nothing makes me cry. Four weeks ago my cousin came into the dance studio and told me my Uncle died 2 hours ago. I didn’t cry. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I didn’t cry. I was only 11 or 12 at the time. When my grandfather had been diagnosed with the same type of cancer, I didn’t cry. I don’t cry. But when my mom slapped me and snatched my phone, causing one of the worst anxiety attacks I’d ever had, I cried. She broke me that night. She broke me the night I came out. The night she snatched my phone. And last week, when she yelled at me for 3 hours straight because I have a D in Algebra.

She scheduled a conference with my Algebra teacher for tomorrow. Now i have to beg my teacher to not tell my mom anything bad. 

If your child had to fucking lie to your face every goddamn day to keep you from getting mad. There a problem. I’m going to tell y’all mine.


End file.
